Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
