his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
