I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just cropdusted the office
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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