Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
last night I used snow as a chaser
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
