i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
