So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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