it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Pants are for mortals
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize