How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
