I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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