Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
