just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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