in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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