I'm jealous of your bromance
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
