Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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