You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
