Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
