i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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