I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
