I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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