Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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