but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
