did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Randomize
