BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
