PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
