she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
