There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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