and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Life without a bra equals bliss.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize