i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
