I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
