Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
