Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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