I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My hand turned me down
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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