they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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