You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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