I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
