I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
