I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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