If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
