Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize