i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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