I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
