i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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