He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
