She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize