So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
