Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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