I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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