Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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