fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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