There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
