we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
