hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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