When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
