My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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