You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
