I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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