covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
