i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
do herpes really smell.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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