There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
