I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
