Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dick very happy bro
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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