you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
